faye wong

i'm crying at a video game music video, haha. Eyes On Me by Faye Wong, was the theme song to Final Fantasy VIII. I loved Final Fantasy VIII when I was in middle school... this is the first time I"ve remembered this in years. It's so beautiful, but I never played it or saw the movie. I could never have afforded the video game, and my desktop back then couldn't handle downloading the game either. I wanted it so much... but all I had was this music video, with its limited scenes.

The girl, the prettiest asian girl with flowing black hair, an innocent smile, and butterfly-like steps. I thought I wanted to be her back then, but now, i would want her.

i don't know how to express how much I was (and am) mesmerized by the video. And how that comes hand in hand with an utter impossibility of buying it, possessing it.

orphans

i realized, i need to fall in love with an orphan. a homeless, family-less, lonely orphan. Only then, can we be happy together, only then can we build our own family, and hold on to each other tightly...

我流浪的好久了，真的很累很累啊。今年圣诞节要去那里？别人在问我，我不知道，没有家可以回的。不怕没地方住，会有朋友让我跟他们回去的，但是我不要同情我的收留所。我要的是一个跟我需要她一样需要我的家。所以，我在寻找我生命中的另一个孤儿。

思考是一种病

最近采取了一种新的生活方式。。。也就是不会想的那么多，这样活得也就比较轻松。 有个朋友跟我说，他觉得自己性格比较开朗，不会想那么多。。。

我记得我以前是会想很多很多的。今天看了台湾的一部不拉拉片，美丽在唱歌。发现我小时候跟其中一个女孩很象。。。就是胆子很小，很沉默，害羞，但是因为内向，所以内心生活很丰富，每天会自己想很多很多。。。虽然在生活中行动不是那么多。

现在不会了。我已经不象普通的女孩那样复杂。甚至不了解很多普通女孩的复杂心理。

甚至，有时候我感觉有点儿麻木。我绝对不象我妈那样子，一天到晚想着愁事。我可以，大部分时候可以，忙着做事，找人聊天，听音乐，喝点普佴茶。。。

可是，我也有点儿思念强烈的感觉。。。