biggest fears

it kinda seems like my life is single-themed. I socialize with a certain kind of people, i keep thinking about these issues, i write about them, i study them, i work for them... if you aren't interested in these things, then i'm probably so monotonous. Hm, I tend to really get into the things I'm into.

People keep asking me, what're your biggest fears? Well, one is that i'd forget things. I already have forgotten a lot. That's why I blog and journal, to try to salvage some of it. I feel like when I forget some experiences, then it's like I've lost that experience itself, and that part of my life is as good as it never happened. Then what's the point of it if i can't even remember the feeling I felt, the thoughts I thought? The other fear is that I only manage to have shallow relationships, that i don't have people who I'm deeply connected to, who are true friends/family/lovers. I guess I believe that relationships, rich meaningful relationships make life significant. I don't have the deep realtionship w/ family that most ppl have as a given, so I have to form these relationships on my own.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this...